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Emory Nelson
Topic Started: Jun 19 2010, 01:15 AM (204 Views)
SuperQ Jun 19 2010, 01:15 AM Post #1
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Gerudo
 Ok, this may sound pretty jerk-ish of me, but I've started RPing. I don't particularly want to start here, mainly because of the type of RP it is. But I've worked on this character, and I really like him. But, I put him into a Mary Sue test, and he's one. So, how? I don't really understand. I'm new to this sort of thing. If anyone would like, would you care to help me?
~~~~~

Emory Nelson was born 15 years ago, in the small town of Jacobson, to wizards Nick and Trisha Nelson. However, the event of his birth was far from normal, even for a wizard. When his mother was going into labor, he managed to burn his way out of his mom; literally, he pushed his way out through the stomach. Nearby wizards and his father quickly took care of this, and immediately put the charm on Emory which causes magic genes to shut down until he was 5 years of age, and when he turned 5, they would slowly open up, fully opening upon turning 18. Despite this experience, Trisha insisted on having a second child, so about two years later, Emory was given a little brother by the name of Raven, whom he prefers to call ‘Ray’.

The first few years of Emory’s life were fascinating; Nick and Trisha were not hesitant to show him and his brother the magical world they lived in (By magical, I do mean it literally.). At age 3, when he was talking, and walking, he spent most of his summer outside, in his spacious backyard. They lived out in the country, and he took advantage of all the magical creatures that showed up. Everyone can see magical creatures, but only those with magical aura draw them in, which explains the fact Emory was swarmed by them. There was this one magical creature whom he loved to play with. It was a Chinese fox, whom he called Hi-kit. The two quickly became friends, and often spent their time wrestling in the backyard as much as a three year old was able to.

Finally, he turned 5, which was a huge event for everyone in the household. The minute he turned 5, he felt his powers awaken, and he did something nobody else expected; he flew. Normally, one needed a broomstick to fly, but no, Emory was doing it at the age of 5. This was extremely bad, not just for Emory, but the whole family. They would be perused by wizards who looked to science to solve the mysteries of magic, and they would run tests on him. He would be a freak among freaks, and Nick and Trisha would be the parents of it, so they finally began to limit his magical fun. Which started with no flying.

When his brother ‘came of age’, it was less than spectacular. Not only did he not gain the ability to fly, but he also didn’t show any signs of magic ability until halfway through his 5th year of life. This wasn’t unusual, but when compared to Emory, he was called ‘the late bloomer’. This made Raven really angry, and he grew jealous of his brother. He went from admiring his brother, to hating him in silence. He still had love for Emory, but it grew weaker with age, and more faint.

Of course, like all kids, Emory started school when he was 5. It was a school that consisted strictly of wizards. Each morning, when Emory woke up, he went to school by a teleportation spell cast by his parents, since the school was a town or so over. Emory started off kindergarten with a bang; literally. He made confetti fall from the ceiling, which amused the children. Sadly, the teachers weren’t so easily impressed, and was told not to use his powers without a teacher telling him to. Of course, he didn’t, like all of his classmates, who did it in secret. In school, he studied things a non-wizard would, like Math, Social Studies, English, etc. In addition to that, he also studied magic very slightly, and it was mostly basic stuff he mastered within the first few days, minus the flying business. He did discover new ways to use this magic, though, which made the classes worth attending, at least. He was very popular amongst the students as well, and most of the kids wanted to play with him.

As he grew older, his popularity and skill grew with him. He was invited to a lot of birthdays, he learned many new spells and charms, and grew happier and more satisfied with life. Around 3rd grade, Hi-kit began to breathe fire, which was new for her, but not for her species.

Meanwhile, Raven entered school, and had trouble in his magic classes, while his classmates did rather well, which frustrated him even more. Luckily, he didn’t have any problem in academics, which was Emory’s weak point when it comes to school in general.

Emory reached a stage where it seemed his progression was slowing down around 3rd grade. Of course, his jealous brother was at his happiest, in 1st grade himself, and his ability to learn magic was speeding up. So, in other words, he was catching up to his big brother, the ‘genius’. Nick and Trisha both praised their second born son a lot more than they were Emory, so naturally, he wanted to catch their attention again. What could he do that his brother couldn’t? He could fly. He hadn’t flown ever since his parents discouraged it years ago. But he thought, maybe, if he could show them he’s mastered flying, maybe they’ll start praising him even more. He patted Hi-kit, and launched himself into the sky merely by will. He felt power surge all throughout him, as if the sky was giving him power. Emory started flying towards the house, and when he was in viewing distance, his mother shrieked, and ran for a broomstick. She hopped onto it, dropping what she was working it, and went up to the sky, and retrieved. On the ground, his mother got on her knees, and placed her hands on Emory’s shoulders. “Please,” she spoke, tears streaming down her cheeks, sobbing, “Don’t ever do that again. They’ll take you away. I don’t want to lost my favorite little man.” She hugged him, and, even upon receiving her embrace, he began to cry too, and he promised he wouldn’t. Perhaps the most sad of the family that day was Raven; he heard the whole thing. Particularly the ‘favorite’ part. He didn’t want to talk to his mom or dad about it, so he kept it pent in, his unrelenting jealousy coming back after a period of absence.

The Nelsons were extremely lucky; nobody had seen their son flying across the countryside. No cameras had seen him, no people have seen him… If they had lived in the city, there would have been no way something like this would have happened, and they could get away with it. Emory’s parents seemed to understand why their son did what he did, so in turn, they gave more attention to Emory, changing back to the normal cycle of praise Emory, and ignore Ray more. Ray wasn’t exactly expressive, so it was difficult to tell how he was feeling, even at such a young age.

When Emory reached middle school, his magic powers were ahead of his classmates, and the girls of his grade seemed to notice this. They were practically all over him, and though he tried dating some, the relationships were never lasting, and he felt nothing, so, rather than turn them away, he just didn’t go out with anyone when asked. By now, he was just about the most popular student in his grade, since popularity was becoming more and more based on power, and association to power. Hence, why so many girls are attracted to him.

Raven, on the other hand, became the overshadowed little brother, nowhere near as popular, or talented as his brother, just as he was before. He was extremely angry now. He had to put up with his fantastic big brother his entire life, and he was sick of it. So, finally, he did something about it; he told the principal of his school, since he had no clue who else to talk to about this sort of thing. He asked if the principal would keep it a secret that he was the one telling him this, and he agreed. That principal talked to some officials, and soon, the whole magical underground were at his front door. They were unable to perform any tests on him until they had proof. But especially since now Emory was being watched by everyone, he would not leave the ground, because he understood what that would do to his family. Him being constantly watched for the majority both of his middle school years really brought out the well-mannered side of Emory; he preformed magic only when he was told to, or when it was only needed, he did better in classes, he made sure the rules were being followed, even if it meant snitching on fellow students. This caused him to become less popular with everyone, despite his power, and soon, he was average on that level, while academics and magic skills excelled.

Then, the first year of high school came around for Emory; the entrance exam being an elemental test. A wizard is usually more skilled in one element than others, and you go into specific training for that element during the four years. This was bad for Emory; if he took the test, they’d know he was a wind element, and that would be enough proof to put him and his family in harm’s way. So, without warning, Emory ran away, leaving his former life behind. He hopes for the best with his new life, and right now, he just wants to find a place to fit in.

:hide:
Q
 
Kamigy Jun 19 2010, 01:17 AM Post #2
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The local depression
 lolwut
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"You have to laugh to keep from crying."
 
Juggernaut Jun 19 2010, 01:25 AM Post #3
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Omnibus Locis Fit Caedes
Kamigy
Jun 19 2010, 01:17 AM
lolwut
This. I really have no idea what you're trying to do here, Q.
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CopShadowGuy Jun 19 2010, 11:08 AM Post #4
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The Night

 What's a Mary Sue test? Why is Emory a Mary Sue?
GET AGAINST THE TREE!!!
 
SuperQ Jun 20 2010, 02:09 AM Post #5
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Gerudo
 A Mary Sue is a cliche character who has nothing exceptional or interesting about them.

:hide:
Q
 
Waterfox Jun 20 2010, 02:29 AM Post #6
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Lunboks.

 I dunno. I'm strongly reminded of Harry Potter when reading this. I suggest working some kinks out before submitting it to whatever RP you're doing for one.
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Acolyte_of_the_Hero Jun 20 2010, 03:23 AM Post #7
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Friendship

 Does he have to go into the girl's bathroom to jump down a pipe and beat a giantsnake? Then, later go to destroy seven pieces of his archnemesis's soul bound to objects?
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
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Vaxis Jun 20 2010, 01:07 PM Post #8
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Cash

 It's a neat idea, and it really doesn't copy too much off of Harry Potter like some people say. I was little surprised when he just ran off though. I didn't expect him to do that. His family would see a lot less of him if he abandoned them than if he was being studied... but maybe he was distressed.

I actually kind of like your ideas behind this and it's good writing to be honest.
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Γνώθι Σεαυτόν
 
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