The End, The Beginning REVIEW

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The End, The Beginning REVIEW; A review of the forum RP and the characters
Topic Started: Mar 3 2010, 03:07 PM (510 Views)
Legion	Mar 3 2010, 03:07 PM Post #1
Cucco Posts: 37 Group: Members Member #101 Joined: Feb 22, 2010	Well, I spent just shy of 2 weeks reading all of the posts and other information pertaining to the forum RP, and thought that I'd write my opinions here. I've always been quite an RP buff, so I enjoy seeing very well-made and exciting ones like this. If it's not in the right spot, by all means, move it to where it should be. At first glance, the RP seems to be quite interesting, and that attention-grabbing banner that cycles through those top couple ads certainly catches your attention. When I first found the thread, I was impressed to see such a wide information base. There's the locations, player characters, non-player characters, and even a magic explanation. It's rare to see something so expansive for something like this and it's very impressive. The most mind-boggling aspect that I saw was the artwork. The fact that it's all so well-done and fitting and that it's all hand-drawn by one person, is purely amazing. Something like that shows great attachment and dedication and I think that everyone here should give Lotus a massive round of applause. She certainly deserves it. Each NPC as well as most PCs are well thought-out characters with their own unique personalities and behaviors. I really enjoyed the diversity of the characters and it's rare to see so many different play styles and traits come together. RPs tend to just be a bunch of characters like Cloud Strife who try to get through life with apathy and distrust for others. They're boring and repetitive and typically don't make it past a dozen pages. This RP is diverse and exciting and I think it will continue far beyond it's position of just shy of 100 pages. For one person managing almost two dozen characters, Lotus manages to keep all of her NPCs unique and exciting in their own way as well. Particularly the characters of Sin, Hel, Freya, Thor and Odin. Every time I found a post with one of their banners at the top, I was never disappointed. While I'm on the subject, those banners at the tops of the posts are a nice touch as well. It adds more excitement to it for me, and also helps to distinguish one story arch from another. For something so simple, they certainly do a lot. I think I'll give my opinion on each of the characters participating as well as for some of them I have quite a bit I want to say. I'll start with the PCs. Ginchiyo ~ 7/10 I'd like to see more of this character and it's a shame her activity diminished as much as it did. She was quite the femme fatal and I enjoy reading about her endeavors. She was hot, stylish, and wasn't going to take anyone's crap. A typical badass mercenary, but with a few nice touches. Relena ~ 10/10 A VERY entertaining character to say the least. She seems very well thought-out and is one of the only characters with a tragic back-story and a real reason to do what she does. The drama surrounding this character is Grade-A and I hope to read more of her in the future. I also like how she isn't invincible like a lot of the characters seem to think they are. She knows she's weak in the grand scheme of things but it doesn't seem to stop her from doing what she thinks is necessary. She stands up for what she believes in and fights for those she loves. Neige ~ 5/10 I'm interested as to the motives of this character as well as her origin. All I can gather is that she's a demon from Niflheim, capable of taking on various forms of precipitation, but beyond that is a mystery. I suppose that's what you're aiming for, but I'd like to know more of the character's driving force and ideals. Romilius ~ 7/10 Relena's travel partner and I imagine love interest from what I've read thus far. I think you kind of forgot that he was a hired assassin and just started following the girl. He seems to be a bit too emotional for an assassin, but quirks are always a welcome guest, provided they're within reason. He's another character I'd like to see more of in the future. His and Relena's travels are a highlight of the RP for sure. They're the two bringing drama to the world I think Felix ~ 1/10 Wow. This guy is boring. Other than being the knowledgeable scholar of the group, he really doesn't serve much of a purpose beyond that. I understand that he was one of the first characters, but he has absolutely NO defining features or character elements that makes him even the slightest bit entertaining to read. Lucas ~ 2/10 You must watch a bit of Naruto, right? This guy is several prominent Naruto characters all jammed into one body. He's wearing an Akatsuki robe, wields Zabuza's greatsword and has Naruto's demonic abilities. He's definitely the least original of all the characters and seems to have a mess for a body. He can be struck by lightning, suffer for a moment then shrug it off. His flesh can be burned off, but he's fine and he doesn't seem to be affected by the elements at all as he can just walk around in the coldest realm with little on. This is Godmodding. Eden ~ 4/10 The most interesting character of the group consisting of Felix, Lucas and herself. She was a normal girl in the wrong place at the wrong time who decided to just travel around with strangers without any thought of the repercussions of what she did, such as leaving family behind, or perhaps forgetting to turn off the oven. Hopefully, she'll develop into a more interesting character. Zantetsu ~ 6/10 I just can't take him seriously as the important knight his creator set him out to be. He just seems to fumble from one loose objective to the next, making it all up as he goes along. He doesn't seem to care about anything at all anymore as he seemed to have dropped him goal of taking over land and just turned into a bit of a jerk. Although he seems to have no aim, he's extremely entertaining to read and I'm a bit disappointed that he seems to have disappeared. Henchim ~ 4/10 This guy reminded me of Zantetsu big time. For someone who used to be a noble warrior, he certainly seems to have hit an all-time low. He lives chaotically and just does what he wants when he wants and has a bit of Lucas' super-human healing abilities as anyone who can recover from broken bones in less than a day certainly is super-human. He's another Godmoddy character, living right on the edge. All-in-all, he's relatively boring, but his posts are well-written. You could have a good character on your hands if you put the time into making an interesting one. Floyd ~ 5/10 Vash the Stampede with a different name. I'm glad you at least changed his appearance as time went on and made him more of an individual. There really isn't much to say about this guy as he's very typical. He doesn't have any defining features, or any raving flaws. He's just average. Quambor Jr. ~ 7/10 This fella is original, that's for sure. I don't know by what Tiefling archetype you're going, but I'm used to the Dungeons and Dragons Tiefling. Regardless, he's got that power change that goes with the phases of the day thing, which is a nice mix up. He also seems to have slight personality changes during each of his cycles as well, which also allows for some diversity. He's a character that you, as the writer, wouldn't get bored of, but I quickly did. You seem to always have him associating himself with boring characters, so he can't help but be boring himself. I say you ditch the library attendants and go renegade. Chrysophylax ~ 10/10 This is what I'm talking about. This guy is one of my favorite characters. The internal monologue, the obsession, the impulsive destruction... next to perfect. You need to post more with this guy because every time you do, it's a treat. You picked a good NPC to follow as well as the two fit well together. Hel is self-obsessed and pompous, and Chrysophylax supports all of it so well. Nice work here. You must have been charging up during your time with Felix for the final ultimate attack that is Chrysophylax. Darius ~ 5/10 I can't help but feel that this character is always tacked on to someone elses' story arch right at the last minute. He always seems to out of place and always jumps in at the last minute, trying to hitch-hike in on someone elses' ride. He's an interesting character, and I think that if you made a goal and aimed for it, he might turn out to be a major player in a lot of stories. Andlat ~ 6/10 All of Juggernaut's characters follow the standard RP archetype. They tend to be the socially devoid characters who are "all business, no play", care little for others and would rather break something than sit down and have a nice cup of tea. But at least you put a lot of work into his back story and I do enjoy reading his posts. I'm curious as to whether or not he'll be able to get his army back and continue the fight. I'd be careful with the disrespect toward Sin though. That seems like dangerous waters. Roy ~ 1/10 I hate this guy's name. It's too simple, basic and generic. He's the standard smartass and from the first couple posts from him, I just couldn't stand him. Durin ~ 7/10 There seems to be a theme with once noble knights becoming criminals. Zantetsu did it and now Durin. He started out as what seemed like a Paladin but quickly pulled a one-eighty and just started doing whatever he wanted. At least he's on the right track now, being a follower of the babe-ilicious babe Sin. Good job. Janus ~ 3/10 Good grief. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life during that "Horse" chase scene. I don't have much to say about this character other than that he's a bit out of place. Célesta ~ 9/10 I really like this character. She seems to have some inner demons and an inferiority complex. The self mutilation and general insanity are just the icing on the cake. The artwork is also amazing. Being able to wield the mighty Gungnir is a nice touch too. Rezas ~ 7/10 I actually kind of like this guy and the way he behaves. I like how Freya picks on him, but deep down she still cares. He's still a tad cliché though. Akira ~ 7/10 I certainly didn't see her personality coming. she seemed like the motherly, mentor type, then out of nowhere it makes a twist turn and here we are. So she's a nympho teacher, perse. An interesting character nonetheless, but I can't see her going too far in the future considering her occupation. Alexander ~ 7/10 Another interesting character for me. As soon as he and Akira wound up interacting, I knew it would be an interesting encounter. I was not disappointed. I'm curious to see where his quest goes. You'll notice I left out some characters. They were left out because there weren't a lot of posts by them, or they weren't active.



Vaxis	Mar 3 2010, 04:45 PM Post #2
Cash Posts: 1,387 Group: Forest Sage Member #14 Joined: Jun 8, 2008 Premium No	At first I was like... "Felix ~ 1/10" But then, I was like... Chrysophylax ~ 10/10 Edited by Vaxis, Mar 3 2010, 04:46 PM.
	Γνώθι Σεαυτόν


Syndicate	Mar 3 2010, 04:48 PM Post #3
Goron Posts: 153 Group: Members Member #102 Joined: Feb 28, 2010	Nice review.



SilverJ-17	Mar 3 2010, 05:25 PM Post #4
Korok Posts: 330 Group: Members Member #83 Joined: Sep 11, 2009	I personally like Andlat more than "6/10," but I can see how you consider him kind mediocre. Lol.. Marcus and SilverJ are too boring and inactive to mention? (Well, the latter kind of well.. left.. and went to another world via his keyblade.) I can't really think of much to say or do for Marcus as the RP stands. I hope Lotus can get back to it soon though and not just because her characters are awesome, for the most part, but for developments. With this now stalled (I presume) tourney, I can't think of anything to do, especially since I didn't enter because of uncertainly on whether I'd have the time or not, back when the sign-ups were going on. Anyhow, yes.. Marcus is still alive and well in the RP. I'm just too lazy to try and think up anything for him to do atm.
	'Sacred Moon Station" was a horrible choice in words. Delete it when you feel like it.


Aphrodite	Mar 3 2010, 05:25 PM Post #5
Delicious Posts: 1,073 Group: Members Member #41 Joined: Mar 8, 2009	26/30 for me! Sweet deal! I really liked reading this. I hope you do the NPCs too! ^_^



SakuWRYYYYY	Mar 3 2010, 06:14 PM Post #6
You monster. Posts: 1,253 Group: Members Member #50 Joined: Mar 25, 2009 Premium No	He only reviewed one of my characters, and the one he reviewed I don't care at all about. I think most of the characters should have gotten a higher rating than they did, but the review was good I suppose.
	The neighbor is doing business in my yard. He's selling boats, IN MY YARD. ~Acolyte


Aphrodite	Mar 3 2010, 06:22 PM Post #7
Delicious Posts: 1,073 Group: Members Member #41 Joined: Mar 8, 2009	SakuWRYYYYY Mar 3 2010, 06:14 PM He only reviewed one of my characters, and the one he reviewed I don't care at all about. I think most of the characters should have gotten a higher rating than they did, but the review was good I suppose. He reviewed both Zantetsu and Janus. Who're you talking about?



SilverJ-17	Mar 3 2010, 06:28 PM Post #8
Korok Posts: 330 Group: Members Member #83 Joined: Sep 11, 2009	I think he's talking about his new character, who's only been around for three or four posts, give or take a couple. Edit: Marcus' eyes look like the one's in my Avy. (Vantias') Edited by SilverJ-17, Mar 3 2010, 06:38 PM.
	'Sacred Moon Station" was a horrible choice in words. Delete it when you feel like it.


Kamigy	Mar 3 2010, 06:30 PM Post #9
The local depression Posts: 1,465 Group: Members Member #42 Joined: Mar 8, 2009 Premium No	At first i w- Ah screw it I'm not gonna be like the majority. I think the characters who did get a bad score should get a more in depth description then just a sentence or two. Other then that its alright I guess.
	"You have to laugh to keep from crying."


SakuWRYYYYY	Mar 3 2010, 07:17 PM Post #10
You monster. Posts: 1,253 Group: Members Member #50 Joined: Mar 25, 2009 Premium No	Aphrodite Mar 3 2010, 06:22 PM SakuWRYYYYY Mar 3 2010, 06:14 PM He only reviewed one of my characters, and the one he reviewed I don't care at all about. I think most of the characters should have gotten a higher rating than they did, but the review was good I suppose. He reviewed both Zantetsu and Janus. Who're you talking about? Didn't see it. I'm stupid. ^_^;
	The neighbor is doing business in my yard. He's selling boats, IN MY YARD. ~Acolyte


CopShadowGuy	Mar 3 2010, 07:32 PM Post #11
The Night Posts: 4,680 Group: Shadow Sage Member #17 Joined: Jun 8, 2008 Premium No	First, kudos to you for reading the whole thing. I, personally, appreciate it that you took the time to do so. Legion Mar 3 2010, 03:07 PM Lucas ~ 2/10 You must watch a bit of Naruto, right? This guy is several prominent Naruto characters all jammed into one body. He's wearing an Akatsuki robe, wields Zabuza's greatsword and has Naruto's demonic abilities. He's definitely the least original of all the characters and seems to have a mess for a body. He can be struck by lightning, suffer for a moment then shrug it off. His flesh can be burned off, but he's fine and he doesn't seem to be affected by the elements at all as he can just walk around in the coldest realm with little on. This is Godmodding. THANK YOU! I'm sorry, ShadowForce, but you tend have that character ignore anything negative that happens to or around him. That fight with Célesta drove me crazy in that regard. Legion Mar 3 2010, 03:07 PM Quambor Jr. ~ 7/10 This fella is original, that's for sure. I don't know by what Tiefling archetype you're going, but I'm used to the Dungeons and Dragons Tiefling. Regardless, he's got that power change that goes with the phases of the day thing, which is a nice mix up. He also seems to have slight personality changes during each of his cycles as well, which also allows for some diversity. He's a character that you, as the writer, wouldn't get bored of, but I quickly did. You seem to always have him associating himself with boring characters, so he can't help but be boring himself. I say you ditch the library attendants and go renegade. And I have to respond to this, I suppose. I got the Tiefling race from a character I'm using in a current D&D game. He isn't evil or anything. He acts more like a normal human (I chose the race for the racial benefits). So whatever Tieflings are supposed to act like, I tend to forget. As for his story, I've come up with several ideas for story arcs that were all rejected by Lotus because they all dealt with the gods in some way. So I'm at a loss as to what to do. I can't have QJ play with the big dogs in the RP and I find just RPing by myself to be too boring. I'm in this for the improv, not to write a solo story. So I currently have a plot in the works that deals not with gods in anyway. I've recruited the characters of a few other members and it'll take place after the tournament is over. Hopefully it is more interesting... SakuWRYYYYY Also Edited by CopShadowGuy, Mar 3 2010, 07:45 PM.
	GET AGAINST THE TREE!!!


Waterfox	Mar 3 2010, 08:01 PM Post #12
Lunboks. Posts: 2,573 Group: Water Sage Member #1 Joined: May 28, 2008 Premium Yes	Good read. The RP has tons of potential. I can't wait to read about how you'll rate the NPC's and the entire thing as a whole.



ShadowForce7	Mar 3 2010, 09:43 PM Post #13
Emerald Posts: 849 Group: Members Member #64 Joined: Jul 2, 2009 Premium No	To,CopShadowGuy: I know. My goal for this spring break is to cut back on the.... "things" Hopefully I can change the way I play.



BudZer	Mar 3 2010, 10:51 PM Post #14
Pseudointellectual Posts: 1,117 Group: Members Member #69 Joined: Jul 29, 2009 Premium No	Legion Mar 3 2010, 03:07 PM Durin ~ 7/10 There seems to be a theme with once noble knights becoming criminals. Zantetsu did it and now Durin. He started out as what seemed like a Paladin but quickly pulled a one-eighty and just started doing whatever he wanted. At least he's on the right track now, being a follower of the babe-ilicious babe Sin. Good job. Honestly, this is the only character I felt you read incorrectly. It might be because he is my character, but he was never a noble knight. He started off as a sort of counter-terrorist in Zephyr and then went off to Stag to complete some business there before getting set onto the right track. Though, it is a pretty high score and you are a pretty tough grader. If anything, you got the events backwards.



Legion	Mar 4 2010, 03:19 PM Post #15
Cucco Posts: 37 Group: Members Member #101 Joined: Feb 22, 2010	Odin ~ 8/10 When I think of a typical Odin, I think of a big, armor-covered guy with a beard who wields a sword. I certainly wasn't expecting an average size guy with a suit instead. I suppose that if I was an all-powerful super-god and could look like whatever I wanted, this is what I'd choose too. He isn't as involved with the story as I'd like to see him, but I imagine it's all just getting started too. He certainly seems like a sneaky, "from behind the scenes" type of guy. Another interesting aspect is how he's quite the ladies man. The desire of a lot of women. It's a nice touch, and should be expected of the All-Father. Thor ~ 8/10 Another character who turned out to be something I wasn't expecting. From what I've grown to expect, Thor would've been a huge, hot-headed warrior, always the first to jump for a fight and the only one to walk away from it at the end. But instead, he turned out to be a quiet, reserved peaceful tower of a man. A turn for the better I think. It seems to suit him more. I'll be using him as a mental archetype in the future I think. Loki ~ 9/10 The trickster of the mythology. He retains a bit of that aspect in the RP. He always seems to have his hand in the cookie jar and I was surprised to see that Killirood was Loki the whole time. I realized afterward that "Killirood" was an anagram for "Lord Loki", so kudos to Lotus for making his identity a secret but at the same time, blatantly obvious. He seems to have relationships with a lot of other characters and I'm interested to see where it all goes. He's an interesting character and I think that there's more for him in the future. Freya ~ 10/10 At first I didn't know what to think of this character. She's certainly unique in every sense of the word. A nude girl with tattoos covering her body. Another character who's quite different than what I expected of them. I like just about everything about this character. Her appearance, her behavior, her speech patterns. Everything. She's very amusing to read and anything involving her is usually amusing as well, no matter how small her part may be. Her as a love interest for Odin is an odd twist as well considering he has a wife. All-in-all, this character is pretty close to being perfect. Very well-done! Frigg ~ 3/10 One of the least entertaining of the NPCs. It seems to me that the only reason she's there is for Odin to have sex with. However, she seems quite powerful, but apathetic at the same time. I'm curious to see how she'd do in a battle. Hel ~ 10/10 Another one of my favorite characters. Her personality is awesome, truly. I love the way she behaves, thinking she's better than everyone else and constantly obsessed with her appearance and how others look at her. This is a very well-done character and I'm quite glad she's a prominent character in the story. I hope she get's a new appearance when she gets a new body too. The current one is great, but anything related to this character is going to be Grade-A anyway. Great job here! Tyr ~ 5/10 She's another somewhat boring character. A few of these characters I can't help but think that you've grown bored of them too. Their activity seems to have died down and you're just waiting for the right time to phase them out. She seems to me like the ninja of the RP, or something close. Valkyries ~ 7/10 I expected them to be stronger, but I guess you need a generic type of enemy unit to be mowed down now and then. Generic Einherjar would have worked too, but the Valkyrie are mysterious and I kind of like it. Heimdall ~7/10 I REALLY wish this guy wasn't confined to Bifrost. He's some cool looking! He's pretty badass for a guardian of a bridge and I think that if someone comes across who he doesn't want to, heads will roll. It seems like he's a lot like Loki in how he has his hand in multiple cookie jars. It'll lead to an interesting plot twist in the future, I think. Dellinger ~ 8/10 I like this character. He's the typical "cool guy" and the only one you've made that fell into the "generic RP archetype", but you still managed to mix it up. He always seems to command respect wherever he goes. He also seems to have quite a predicament as far as where his loyalties lie. He respects the justice-inclined Thor, but at the same time I think he has feelings for the chaotic Hel. It'll be interesting to see where his story goes and who's side he chooses in the end. Nanna ~ 5/10 I liked the motherly thing she had going with Baldur. It was funny and entertaining and you don't see it done well very often. Now she seems to be heading toward the vengeful lover archetype judging by the armor as well as where she's living and associating herself with. An average character with no highlights or blatant downfalls. Beowulf ~ 5/10 The apparent leader of the group of four. He's a quieter fellow, a good contrast to Weyland. I don't find him particularly interesting, especially when standing next to Weyland and Reyme. Weyland ~ 9/10 This guy is just plain funny. You've got a real knack for writing with multiple personalities especially considering the wide range of people you write for. This guy is a misogynist, self-proposed playboy and a real treat to read. He and Reyme go great together. Keep up the good work here! Reyme ~ 7/10 She's kind of scary, really. Her personality just seems so insincere that it's almost as if she doesn't care what happens to anyone. The whole half-vampire thing is the icing on the cake too. Still, I think she's unique in her own way and a nice touch to the group. Siegfried ~ 4/10 This is another character I don't think you care too much about. He rarely seems to have any input into the conversation or situation, and it goes well with his personality, but I can't help but feel that he's just dead weight looking for a good place to jump off the bandwagon. Sin ~ 10/10 Where to start... Well, Sin is by far the best-looking character I've ever seen anywhere ever. I'm not exaggerating either. Her features, color scheme, personality, the way she behaves, everything about her is flawless. You certainly went all-out on this one, Lotus. She's just so regal and refined. Even her theme song is one of my favorite VG tracks. Her story is also interesting and judging by the way she reacted to Baldur's death, I think she knows him better than she's letting on. The gathering of the warriors is also an interesting twist as well as who she's fighting with and against. I'll definitely keep a watch on her. Surter ~ 8/10 This is one scary fellow. I like how he behaves and the massive level of mystery behind him. I'm curious as to how his stats work to as they're nothing but question marks. I hope we get to learn more about him in the future.



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